Lesson #6 Equal Rights

Dear Baby:
You nod now. Before I went to my meeting today, your dad said "Do you think mommy looks pretty?" and you smiled your Cheshire cat smile and nodded. C'mon! Your cuteness is out of this world.

So, today, aside from your delightful nodding, one thing happened that is of note . I went to lunch with Jolie at this place called AMMO, it probably won't exist when you are grown, baby, but it was yummy. Anyway, while there, I had to use the restroom before leaving. There were two single restrooms. One marked with the traditional female restroom figure (wearing a skirt) and the other marked with the traditional male restroom figure (wearing trousers). There was a young woman wearing a salmon colored skirt waiting for the ladies room and I asked her if she had tried the men's. She looked at me like I had three heads. As you know baby, I don't have three heads. If I did I would be able to get a lot more done and would wear hats more.

So, I ignore her rude glare and check the door to the men's room. Turn's out it was available and there were no men in line so I happily entered. I use it. And after washing my hands I exit. And what do I see when I exit? Salmon lady still standing there waiting for the women's restroom only now her frown looked more like a scowl. I smiled my "I'm sorry I kick ass and you don't" smile and floated back to the table. And I started thinking. What was so wrong about me using the men's room? What happened to equal rights? And, for that matter, what happened to being quick when doing ones business? I swear, baby, I don't know why there is always a line for the ladies room and the men's room is always avail. What takes these women so long? Yes, I know, it's easier for me to dispose of their waste. Their appendage literally hangs off of them allowing for easy exit (by now we will have had our "sex" talk and you'll know that men have a penis and women have a vagina...I won't use silly names like dingle dangle and hoo-hoo. Although, if I did both those names would be delightful). But doing our "business" isn't that much more complicated than men doing theirs. We disrobe, we squat, we wipe, we rerobe. Yes, some don't squat. SOme use the toilet liners. If there is no toilet liner you have to use toilet paper and apply it carefully to the toilet seat which can take time, I get it. But even still, I'm not sure what's taking so long in there. Are women doing Sudoku? Are they applying makeup? Are they making mental to-do lists? I mean, really? So, in general, I urge ladies to getty up in there.

But I digress, it should be totally okay for us ladies to use the men's room. And, to be fair, I was wearing trousers today. So, I could always plead confusion, as my outfit looked more like the male placard than the female one. The lesson here? Don't make anyone allow you feel bad for doing your business. Do what you've got to do and afterwards wash your hands. For at least twenty seconds (maybe more if using the men's room--just to be safe).

Equal rights, baby! Equal rights.
Love, Mom